Ugh, is it the daytime?
What time do I have to leave the house in order to be just 10 minutes late rather than 20 minutes late?
Do I wear a light coat today or like, a heavy coat but leave it unzipped?
How sweaty am I going to be on the subway if I carry hot coffee?
But is it an acceptable time of year to get iced coffee?
Did I just accidentally play patty cake with that barista when I was trying to hand him my money with one hand and my frequent customer card with the other?
Should I take this scarf off?
How do I turn on “Private Session” in this updated Spotify app?
Why isn’t my MetroCard working?
No, seriously, why isn’t my MetroCard working?
What’s this dude on this very crowded subway maniacally laughing to himself about?
Um, is this Hasidic man allowed to be on this very crowded subway sandwiched between all of these ladies right now?
How long is it going to take for the elevator to come?
No, seriously, HOW LONG?
Should I get Rosetta Stone to brush up on my French to impress the hot French dude who is sometimes waiting for the elevator at the same time as me?
How am I going to make it to the end of the work day?
Why doesn’t anyone ever read their email?
Is everyone an idiot?
When can I eat lunch?
What made you think I didn’t want that hard-boiled egg in my salad chopped up like the rest of it?
When can I eat my snack?
Am I actually hungry or am I just bored?
How can I get creative inspiration without leaving my desk?
What if I just quit everything?
Why am I reading the Wikipedia page for ‘Dogs Playing Poker’?
Can I leave now?
Where is my beer?
Do I ask someone where the bathroom is in this place or just wander around until I find it?
Should I have another beer?
Was this restaurant on Girls?
Do I order the polenta?
How many Weight Watchers points is polenta?
Does this mason jar hold the same amount of liquid as a pint glass?
Can I show my face at Trash Bar again?
Where is the closest bar to this restaurant that is not Trash Bar?
Is it weird to sit at this bar by myself after my friend leaves?
Should I just walk home?
How am I still walking right now?
Is working on my story when I get home really a good idea?
Would my family be mad at me if I wrote about them?
Why did I decide that writing was going to be my “thing”?
What if I never actually publish anything?
Does it matter?
Does anything matter?
Why am I alive right now?
What really happens after you die?
Am I having an existential crisis?
How have I not watched the new Louis C.K. special yet?
Do I want a second cookie?
Should I buy the second season of Adventure Time on Amazon Prime?
In how many hours do I need to wake up?