As I mentioned in my two previous posts, this week was and continues to be strange. Though I’m normally a heavy sleeper, I’ve woken up in the middle of the night most nights this week because of dreams directly related to the things I’m worried about. I’ve gone from starting a new job on Monday to beginning my jury duty service yesterday. I noticed wrinkles around my eyes for the first time and that my nails, bare after months of gel manicures, look like shit now. I’ve yet to plan to do anything about either issue, even though I’ve become obsessed with the idea of giving myself a makeover to distract myself from the anxiety of my real life. Every time I’ve tried writing, I get psyched out or extremely distracted. I’m sure this could be solved by free-writing or writing as soon as I get up, but it seems this week I’m intent on punishing myself.
All that said, I am in a much more chill headspace than I was on Tuesday night when I wrote about my fear of the unknown. I was able to enjoy a few things this week. Here they are!
1. Alison Bechdel’s Are You My Mother?
(I hope to write about this soon. It affected me…pretty profoundly.)
2. White Hinterland, “Ring the Bell”
(Not so new, but I just got really into it in the past week.)
3. Emily Gould’s essay about being in and getting out of debt as a writer (excerpted from MFA vs NYC: The Two Cultures of American Fiction)
4. ScHoolboy Q, “Los Awesome”
5. The absolute nonsense that was the fourth season finale of Downton Abbey