I woke up this morning, on the last day of the year, and thought about writing. I consider doing this often, just getting up and writing. Then I did what I do almost every morning. I hit snooze on my alarm and rolled over. When I finally did get up, after hitting snooze a few more times, I had just enough time to run out for coffee before starting work. (My actual work that I get paid to do.) This, I thought to myself, is why I can never get any writing done. Then I proceeded to get angry at myself for not writing enough this year, for not publishing anywhere other than my own site, for giving up on the novel I’d started, for constantly feeling like I don’t have anything to say, for worrying that no one reads or cares about what I do put out there, for getting caught in this same negative thought cycle all too often.
I decided to stop being angry and to do a thing I had promised I would do more often this year and in the future. I decided to be nice to myself. All of the things I didn’t do this year? I told myself that it’s fine that I didn’t do them. I can do them or not do them later. And all of the things I did? They’re great! I did them.
This lead me to make a list of things I wrote that I liked this year. So, here are the things I wrote that I liked:
I wrote about having crushes.
I wrote about traveling to Iceland by myself.
I wrote about being a fan.
I wrote about getting naked with my friends at the spa.
I wrote about losing my job.
I wrote about talking to strangers in New York City.
I wrote about losing my uncle twelve years ago.
And I’ll write more next year. Just probably not right when I get up in the morning.